♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ♪
♪ Headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
Fellas! Fellas!
Fellas!
Aah! Fellas!
What?
Guess what Larry Bardski just told me!
What?
- Guess! - Just tell us, Butters.
There's a new girl that started school here today,
and she's joining the cheerleading squad!
Oh, we have a new cheerleader?
What's she look like?
Yeah, what's her name?
All right, guys, all right!
If there is a new girl at our school.
We're not gonna start putting claims on her
and getting in a big fight.
It's gonna be her choice who she likes the most.
Look, look! There she is!
Oh, my god. Token, are you stoked?
Aww! That's awesome, Token.
I'm happy for you.
Why? Why are you happy for me?
Dude, I'm being seriously.
You guys will be really cute together.
What are you gonna say to her?
Nothing.
What the... Ohh, Token's shy.
Oh, my god, that is adorable.
And so, what we start to see now
is a pattern in world history
much like the Greeks and the Romans.
Remember that there were seven families
fighting for control of the land of Westeros.
The King of Westeros was who?
Robert Baratheon, and he asked Eddard,
also known as, of course, Lord Stark,
to serve as Hand of the King.
You remember that Lord Stark accepted, of course.
Dude. Token.
The Queen's family, that's the Lannisters...
Token. Dude.
Were really trying back then to take control, weren't they?
So where were the Targaryens at this time?
Psst. Token.
Well, they were across the sea.
We talked about how they were also trying to take the throne.
Go ahead. Go ahead, dude.
- So we've got the Greeks... - Token, yeah, get in there.
The Romans, the Starks, Lannisters, Baratheons...
- Will you shut the hell up? - and the Targaryens,
all headed for a big blowout right in season two.
Now, what I really wanted to get into...
Token, you want me to pass her a jelly bean?
No.
- Huh? - No!
Token, is there a problem?
Uh, he's just a little sick, Mr. Garrison.
He's got boneritus.
Right, guys?
Everyone pay attention!
Now, what I really want to get into today
is what was going on in the North,
because that's just a whole other mess...
Token. Dude, dude, dude.
That's pretty hard to keep straight, isn't it?
The Night's Watch...
So then Kelly, I guess, told Staci
that she wasn't invited, so now Staci's pissed at us.
Hey, guys, could I talk to you?
- Why? - Just...
Could I talk to you real quick?
What kind of stuff is the new girl saying about Token?
About Token? Why?
Well, Token's really shy,
so I'm just here sort of on his behalf to, you know...
Token likes Nichole?
Yeah, of course.
Oh, yeah, I don't think she has any idea.
Yeah, so, could you guys just let her know that, you know,
she might have to make the first move?
- Okay. - Thanks, you guys.
One, two, three, four. Sorry, Bebe!
Oh, that's okay!
So, Nichole, guess what.
One of the boys here already has a crush on you.
Oohhh!
Oh, my gosh, who?
That boy Token.
Oh, he's really nice, Nichole.
I dated him for a little while.
- Yeah! - He's cute!
Go for it, Nichole!
Oh, jeez, thanks, you guys,
but to be totally honest,
I kind of think this other boy is cute.
Who? Who, who, who, who?
That kid with the orange coat and the green hat.
- Oh, you mean Kyle? - Yeah.
- Ooh! - She likes Kyle!
What? Kyle!
Nichole loves Kyle!
Nichole and Kyle, sitting in a tree...
K-i-s-s-o-m-g!
Ha ha! Shut up, you guys. It's just a crush.
Motherfucker!
We are Cows, proud and true!
Come on, South Park, moo moo moo!
Go, Cows!
- Hey, uh, Nichole, right? - Yeah.
Could I talk to you for a second?
Just for a second, right over here.
Listen, I heard through the grapevine
that you've got a thing for Kyle.
Oh, no. Who told you that?
Just the grapevine.
Um, there's something you should probably know.
Oh, man, this is hard.
Um, the thing is, me and Kyle are kind of, you know,
together.
Ohh.
Yeah. He's my man.
I'm more out than Kyle is, but it sucks
because he acts like we're not a couple at school
'cause he's embarrassed, but we get home,
and he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.
Wow, I'm sorry. I totally respect that.
Hey, thanks a lot for telling me.
Cool. Just, you know, don't touch me,
'cause I'm not into girls, so it kinda grosses me out.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah, cool.
Anyway, thanks a lot, and just, you know,
stay away from man, bitch.
Hey, uh, I just wanna let you know,
if you ever need somebody to talk to, I'm here.
Oh, thanks.
Dude, that new girl's into me!
Psst, Butters. Butters!
At the end of P.E. class, tell Nichole
that the gym teacher wants some towels delivered
to the boys' locker room.
How come?
Let's just say that by this time tomorrow,
Token and Nichole are gonna be practically married.
Are you sure, Eric? I mean,
maybe they just aren't meant for each other.
No, no.
Love is like taking a dump, Butters.
Sometimes it works itself out,
but sometimes you gotta give it a nice, hard, slimy push.
Oh, hey, Nichole?
Coach wants you to take these to the boys' locker room.
Oh, he does? Okay.
Guys! Guys, get outside!
It's the Batmobile! Batmobile, you guys!
Where?
I don't see a B-B-Batmobile.
Hello?
- Aah! - Aah!
Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry.
Where is everybody? What's going on?
Coach wanted me to... I'm sorry!
Hey, guys! Guys! Hold up!
Hey, uh, you're kind of friends with that Nichole girl, right?
Yeah.
Well, what kind of stuff does she like?
Do you know?
She likes movies, cats.
She likes basketball.
Oh! Oh, cool! She likes basketball?
That's perfect! Thanks, you guys.
Well, hey, Kyle.
We were gonna head over to the mall.
You wanna go with us? Oh. Uh, can't right now,
but maybe another time. See ya.
Guess he has a crush on Nichole.
I don't think so.
I heard Kyle's swings for the same team.
Really?
It's perfect.
I can take her to a basketball game.
Man, I-l don't know what's happening,
but it seems like all the girls are kind of into me lately.
Hey! In here!
You think the janitors are still here?
Don't worry. It's gonna be okay.
We've got water, and-and maybe somebody
even left some food laying around.
Come on.
Look! Somebody left a deli platter.
And board games... and massage oil.
Oh... good.
Well, that was sure an interesting night.
- It sure was. - Hey,
thanks a lot for making me feel safe in there.
That could have been really scary.
Yeah. Now that it's over,
I-I guess it was kind of fun.
Yeah. It kind of was.
Maybe... I don't know.
Maybe we should get some lunch tomorrow.
Oh, my god, so cute.
- I'd like that. - Cool!
Well, thanks again.
Aww. My god.
We did it, Eric.
We found them each other's ray of sunshine.
You're my ray of sunshine, Cupid Me.
Tee hee hee hee!
♪ I see the questions in your eyes ♪
♪ I know what's weighing on your mind ♪
♪ You can be sure I know my heart ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll stand beside you through the years ♪
♪ You'll only cry those happy tears ♪
♪ And though I make mistakes ♪
♪ I'll never break your heart ♪
♪ And I swear by the moon ♪
♪ and the stars in the sky ♪
♪ I'll be there ♪
♪ I swear ♪ ♪ I swear ♪
♪ Like a shadow that's by your side ♪
♪ Keep it down, girl ♪
♪ I'll be there ♪
♪ For better or worse ♪ ♪ Better or worse ♪
♪ Till death do us part ♪ ♪ Death do us part ♪
♪ I'll love you with every black beat of my heart ♪
♪ And I swear ♪
♪ I swear ♪
♪ Yeah, I swear ♪
♪ Straight up ♪
♪ What it do ♪
Did you see that?
Token was gonna push her, but then he tickled her instead.
Dude, why are you so into their relationship?
I don't know. It's just so perfect.
- You motherfucker! - Aah! Kyle! Jesus Christ!
What the hell are you doing, telling people
that we're a gay couple?
Oh... heard that through the grapevine, did you?
The new girl liked me, and so you lied to her!
Somebody had to intervene, Kyle!
You were standing in the way of Token and Nichole!
They belong together!
Just because two people are the same race
doesn't mean they belong together,
you fat, racist piece of fucking garbage!
Oh! Oh! I'm a racist, huh?
I'm a racist? It's how nature works, Kyle!
Look, look, what about Luke Covina and Maria Sanchez?
Is it a coincidence they ended up together?
Actually, I heard they're together
'cause they got locked in the school gym
overnight a few months ago.
Overnight a few months ago.
Tee hee! That was us. Remember, Eric?
Shh! Quiet, Cupid Me.
- What? - Nothing.
Who is "Cupid Me"?
Nobody.
You are gonna tell everyone that you lied
and that we aren't a couple! Why, Kyle?
So you can try and ruin things for Token and Nichole?
Look at how happy they are!
Is it that you want to ruin that,
or are you just homophobic?
God damn it!
Nichole, your mother tells me
that you already have a boyfriend at school.
His name is Token.
He's really nice.
Well, that's good, but...
your mother tells me that this boy is...
black.
So?
Well, Nichole, it's just...
you know, just because you're black
doesn't mean you can only date black boys.
It's just a little weird that we moved to this whole new place
and you're immediately drawn to the one other black person.
Oh, stop, William.
There's nothing wrong with her dating a black person.
I'm not saying it's wrong.
I'm just saying, she's gonna have to deal
with racist people out there.
People turning their heads and saying,
"oh, look at the two black people together.
That figures."
It's not like that, dad.
We just happen to like each other.
I know it seems like a strange coincidence, but it really is...
a coincidence.
And we are very happy for you, sweetheart.
Here, have some more turkey.
Yeah, just try the white meat.
I know it's a little dry, but there's a lot more of it.
Come on!
Other people have to use the bathroom, you know.
Can you hurry it up in there?
Tee hee hee hee! Tee hee!
Jesus Christ, Cupid Me, you giving birth in there?
Sorry!
That's... Oh! Awww! Cupid me!
Sick! What the fuck have you been eating?
Tee hee hee hee hee hee!
Dude, at least flush the toilet!
Aww, it's cute.
It's little chocolate hearts.
They're fudgy charms of sunshine!
You're my fudgy charm of sunshine.
Come here, you! Tee hee hee hee!
Tee hee hee hee hee!
I'm gonna get you!
Tee hee hee! No!
I almost got you! Almost!
Everything okay, sweetie?
Everything's great, mom.
No, come back here and flush the toilet, you silly!
No!
Oh, no.
Hey, Token.
Hey, Nichole.
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Sure.
What's up?
Listen, I...
I don't think this is gonna work out.
- Oh. - I'm so sorry.
It's just... l don't believe we're really on the same page,
you know? Okay.
I think you're really great.
We just...
I think you're really great.
I'm sorry.
Yeah. I'm sorry too.
I'll see you around.
Okay...
It's not fair!
They were so h-h-appy!
It's gonna be okay, Eric.
It's not gonna be okay! Why did they break up?
They were meant for each other!
They'll find love somewhere else.
No, they won't!
Yes, they will.
No, they won't! Fuck you, Butters!
You're an asshole!
Tee hee hee!
Looks like somebody could use a little arrow of sunshine.
And you!
I should have never believed in you!
In who, Eric?
I never wanna see you again!
Ah!
Take... your sunshine...
and fucking die!
Hey, man. You okay?
Yeah.
What happened?
It just didn't work out?
Yeah, I guess.
So, you guys are totally broken up, then?
It's-it's done?
Yeah
So, then, she's gonna be seeing other people?
She's sort of available?
Yeah, we're through.
So, theoretically,
if someone was to step in, it would be okay?
I'm sorry, Kyle. I like girls.
Huh? Dude, what the fuck?
We'll be back with more of The Jeffersons
right after this.
I work hard, so I need a laxative that works hard too.
I can't be constipated on the job.
That's why I need soft serve.
Because when I'm constipated,
sometimes, even a hard push isn't enough.
Don't give up. Get back in there
and get to work!
'Cause when the going gets tough,
the tough gets going!
That's right.
That's right!
Ohh.
I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have doubted you.
Please come back.
I know I got a little angry, but I believe in you.
Do you hear me? I believe in you.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do, Cupid Me.
Love is the bestest feeling in the world.
I believe you can change everything.
No, you don't.
Please. I can't do this alone.
They need us.
And I need you,
my little flicker of twinkle stars.
Tee hee. Stop it.
Come on, Twinkle Stars, we got work to do.
Tee hee. Tee hee hee!
Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!
Hi, can I speak to Nichole, please?
It's very important.
I'm sorry, but she's at the Denver Nuggets game.
Denver Nuggets game?
Yes, she went with a nice, white Jewish boy.
No!
Welcome to today's match-up between the Denver Nuggets
and the Los Angeles Clippers!
And now, here to sing The National Anthem,
country music star Brad Paisley!
♪ Oh, say, can you see ♪
♪ by the dawn's early light ♪
♪ what so proudly we hailed ♪
♪ at the twilight's last gleaming ♪
♪ Whose broad stripes and bright stars ♪
No!
Nuggets fans, please direct your attention to center court
and the president of Halitosis Kidz,
who invites you to join the Denver Nuggets
in the fight against Morbid Halitosis in children.
Here to attempt a three-point shot
for adolescents with terminally bad breath
is the the poster child for Halitosis Kidz,
Stacey Mulenburg.
And a good try!
- Ahh-ha-ha-ahh! - Whoa!
No!
Tickets, please!
No time! No!
We're all set for the tip-off!
Attention! Attention, please!
This is a message for all of you out there
who have just ended a relationship.
Sometimes, love is hard,
but you can't just run away from it.
When you start to have something special,
you have to work at it.
Even though it might seem like the world is against you,
you still have to hold on with both hands.
Don't let society dictate who you can and can't be with.
Kyle, I love you, babe.
You can run all you want, try to pretend you like girls,
but damn it, when we kiss, there's magic.
Don't let it go, Kyle.
I want to hold you every morning
and love you every night, Kyle.
I promise you nothing but love and happiness.
♪ I swear ♪
♪ by the moon and the stars in the sky ♪
♪ I'll be there, Kyle ♪
♪ I swear ♪
♪ like the shadow that's by your side ♪
♪ Kyle, swear to god, I'll be there ♪
♪ For better or worse ♪ ♪ Better or worse ♪
♪ Till death do us part ♪ ♪ Death do us part ♪
♪ I'll love you with ♪
♪ Every gay beat of my heart ♪
- ♪ I swear, Kyle ♪ - I swear, Kyle.
Where are you going?
That fat turd up there
is the one who set up you and Token
'cause he's thinks blacks belong together!
He did that? Oh, no.
Thank you. Thank you all.
That's all I wanted to say.
That, and... the Batmobile's outside.
Seriously, you guys gotta see it!
It's the Batmobile! It's outside!
What?
Token! Hey.
Hi.
Token, I'm so sorry.
I thought you were only with me because I'm black.
I'm sorry too.
I wouldn't even talk to you at first because you were black.
Do you think we could...
Do you still want to...
Maybe we can give it another try?
There's still people who will look at us funny
and think we're supposed to be together.
Let them look. I don't care.
I don't care either.
I just think you're a great person.
The color of your skin doesn't matter.
Yay!
Oh, my god, so cute.
Tee hee hee!
A place for everything, and everything in its place.
That's right, Cupid Me.
People who are the same belong together.
That's right, and I've found somebody
who's just the same as you.
- Really? - There she is!
Haah!
What? Fuck you, Cupid Me!
Tee hee hee! Fuck you!
Hey, stop it!
Haah!
- No! - Ahh-ha-ha-haah!